Dirty Old Perverts
by StardustRudie
Summary: It seemed like a good idea in theory. Find him, push him into the nearest closet and then ravish him senseless until he promised to never leave her side again. Alas! She didn't take one thing into account...


Previously written and posted for the Springkink community under a different title, and hopefully with slightly better grammar.

**Title: **Dirty Old Perverts  
**Prompt:**Nabari no Ou, Kouichi/Raimei: shota - "Really, you should learn to retransform into the right age. I feel like a pervert"  
**Rating:** R / NC 17 (to be safe)  
**Warnings:**Adult situations, shota, spoilers I guess if you have only read/watched the first couple of chapters/episodes.  
**Word count:** 1,471  
**Summary:** It seemed like a good idea in theory. Find him, push him into the nearest closet and then ravish him senseless until he promised to never leave her side again and re-declare his undying adoration for her. Well that was what her inner mental theater assured her that would happen… Alas! Her mental theater did not take one thing into account…

A/N: This could be considered AU as of recent chapters, set some time in the future, Shinra Banshou is out of Miharu and Kouichi and Shijima are still around and immortal. I'll leave it up to you to imagine what happened. Characters might be OC.

Disclaimer: If I actually owned Nabari no Ou, do you think I would write fanfiction of it? Nein my poppet.

* * *

It had been a week.

In Raimei's mind, time never moved fast enough, she was a whirlwind of perpetual motion and the world had to keep up with her, consequences be dammed. So when Kouichi had not returned from his mission for a whole week she was restless. It simply wasn't fair that Miharu and Shijima were allowed to go and she wasn't permitted to go too, not that she feared he would die or get hurt too much, he was Kouichi after all. But it was still such a long time!

She sighed, In Raimei's mind, a single week seem to last year-like lengths… way too long. Anything could happen in that span of time: friends could be made and lost, countries could be crippled by natural disasters, and peace could once again be broken (it was the world of Nabari after all) even if the Shinra Banshou wasn't around to disrupt it.

She missed him danmit! more than she ever thought capable. She missed his smile, those bright red eyes, the way his face felt under her touch, even his glasses; everything that made him so indescribably Kouichi and made her feel all sorts of cheesy feelings that a samurai like herself should NOT be feeling.

She walked down the corridor, pulling the ends of olive scooped neck shirt and regretting wearing it, but it was the only one that went with her beige skirt and Jūji had been pestering her to wear it and if she didn't she threatened she would NEVER EVER give her something again.

She turned the corner and she decided to look for Saraba so that she can talk to her to keep her mind off Kouichi's absence and not destroy yet another punching bag.

She overhead someone, most probably Jūji who seemed to be scolding someone who strangely sounded like Miharu… Wait… Miharu?

This means…!

And so, she sprinted.

When she spotted a messy white head of hair near Fuuma's main offices she rushed forward, took his hand and yanked him into a nearby supply closet.

It seemed like a good idea in theory. Find him, push him into the nearest closet and then ravish him senseless until he promised to never leave her side again and re-declare his undying adoration for her. Well that was what her inner mental theater assured her that would happen. She silently grinned at the thought. Kouichi really did bring out that silly romantic side of her.

However, even the best laid out plans can turn out slightly different.

The darkness enveloped them like a blanket as the door quietly slammed behind them and she tried pressing him against the wall but she miscalculated and both tumbled onto the floor as well as a couple of scrolls. She felt a sting on her knees but wasn't deterred by that and she quickly sat up, pulling him with her, her lips quickly found his. Her fingers slid into his soft feathery hair and she was delighted when her kiss was met with equal fervor and felt his hands caressed up and down her sides. His scent invaded her senses and she was giddy with happiness. _She really did miss him._When air became a necessity they broke apart, she embraced him and felt his head settle on her shoulder and he murmured, "I missed you too dear Raimei." his breath tickled her neck.

She felt her insides light up and she reached for his hand to kiss it. She placed her palm over his and felt instead of it engulfing hers, his hand felt smaller almost her size. She paused. _Strange…_ _If I didn't know any better, I could have sworn they were bigger than this…_

He must have noticed her pause for he said "Something wrong Raimei?"

Wait…. Something was a bit off, his voice didn't sound like _that._ The last time it did he was…

She swiftly stood barely missing his head; she fumbled for the switch and light flooded into the closet. He blinked confusingly. He was sitting up and his glasses were lopsided. He began fixing them. She stared, nothing seemed different… though he seemed a bit smaller from this angle… then, in total Raimei fashion, it suddenly clicked.

"You… your… in your chibi mode!"

He frowned. "Chibi mode? Really Raimei, I much rather you not use such terminology. For one thing it makes me seem like I were non lethal and cute. Like that Pikachu plush you were admiring at the other day when you thought I was not looking…" He gave her a knowing look. "Do not deny it." She couldn't find anything to respond to that so she settled in glaring at him. "You are impossible!" She then turned, her flush intensifying and mumbled almost inaudibly "Besides, I wasn't REALLY admiring Pikachu…"

"Whatever floats your boat Raimei."

She then began to dust herself off. She reached towards the door handle. She then felt his small hands tug at her lower arm.

"Where are you going?"

"Uh… out?"

"And here I am thinking you were going to show me how much you missed me. You sure do give mixed signals Raimei."

"well… yes, I was going to, but I didn't count on this."

"This?" pointing to himself, his glasses slid down his nose.

"Yes."

"Blunt as always Raimei-chan."

She blushed.

"Besides I don't really see the problem here."

"The problem? The PROBLEM?" She almost yelled. He winced, she had almost forgotten he really had delicate hearing when he was at this stage. She lowered her voice. "I mean I do love you, you in all your forms, but I draw the line at being romantic with you in your child form, you look nine for heavens sake! Its illegal in most societies!"

"You weren't objecting to it a while ago."

"That's totally different. I didn't know you were currently in this form." She sniffed and turned her head.

"My dear Raimei is so cruel to me."

She sighed "Really, you should learn to retransform into the right age. I feel like a pervert …a dirty old pervert, A REALLY dirty old pervert, the kind that lives alone and has a whole video collection filled with little boys in those catholic religious robes…. I don't know why you don't feel uncomfortable by all this! Also," she added "Shijima can transform back correctly all the time."

"Tenpenka works different for everyone each time, and besides, Shijima-san is a masochist."

"You are a pansy compared to Shijima then."

He laughed. He stood and walked over to her, the top of his head reached her nose. _How did she NOT notice this before she pulled him into the closet? She should REALLY stop being so nearsighted._

"And for your information, I am _not_ nine. I'm older than _you_ by nearly a century, and if anything I should be the pervert."

"By the way you sometimes act, your mental age is about the same as your shoe size."

"Well you do know what they say about male shoe sizes…" he grinned mischievously at her.

"Kouichi! And people wondered why you got along so well with Kotarou!"

"Besides," he continued as if he had not heard her "I find current height rather satisfying. For you see I wouldn't be able to do this quite easily." His hand quickly slid under her shirt and quickly disposed of it, he then buried his head in her breasts and began to nip and tease them. She softly gasped and found herself leaning against the wall. "I certainly missed these." She could feel his words against her chest.

"Its still a bit- Oh! uncomfortable… for me." He then lifted his head and silenced her in the only way he knew how… he kissed her (well, technically it wasn't the only way, but she knew this was his favorite), their height difference were less pronounced, the way he leaned up towards her, the way his petite nimble fingers disposed of her hair ties, she found it rather interesting to say the least. _NO! This was still wrong!_"But Kouichi" she tore away and gasped, feebly finding excuses he then took it as his cue to place his mouth to her ear and began nibbling. "You can't…your body can't really…" He didn't respond and quickly took her hand and pressed it _there_. Her eyes widened.

_That certainly does NOT belong to a nine year old boy. _She thought.

"Does THAT answer your question?" his whisper was laced with need.

"But… but I still feel like a dirty old pervert!" She half whined.

"Well then" he said and grinned not so innocently as began to unzip her skirt "we can be dirty old perverts together."

Her resolve was slowly dissolving; she was SO going to hell for this. But she couldn't bring up enough strength to care.

~Owari.~

Another A/N: First fanfic on the site... Like it? Hate it? Reviews/comments welcome!


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